we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize