she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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