I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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