my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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