haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
