So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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