escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
