i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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