Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
