12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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