The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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