I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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