Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
