There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
