What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
