Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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