Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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