Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
