Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Boobs speak an international language.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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