Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
