i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize