I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
