so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
