is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
