Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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