We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
high people should be assigned attendants
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize