there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
