it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
