I'm really into asian looking animals
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
