i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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