have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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