He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
