just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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