going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
