New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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