I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we have officially lost it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
