just come out here and I will go home with you...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
