She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
