So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize