He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize