Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
