worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
