I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
