i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
