I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
