Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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