Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you had me at cake vodka
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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