the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
God, I missed his penis.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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