just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
