Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
