there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
