just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
