dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
