All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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