i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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