i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
