I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
