I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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