So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
