I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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