Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
