just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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