My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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