This girl is more easily done than said...
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
