Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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