She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
